Men Should Come With Warning Labels

While having a late night conversation with the BFF on the many errors of men, we decided that it would be most helpful if men came with warning labels. Sort of like how prescriptions do. That way the user would know what they were getting themselves into, what not to mix them with, what side affects to expect, and so on...  This is what mine for my ex would look like:

 

Some of the other labels my friends and I came up with:

-Only loving when you don't want to talk.

-May stick straws up nose and act like a walrus.

-May cause user to have suicidal/homicidal thoughts....just kidding...well, sort of ;)

-Void of emotional satisfaction. 

-May cause tears and swelling of the eyes. 

-Likely to cause a broken heart.

-Only good for sexual gratification.
-Stalker tendencies.
-Insufferable d-bag. (my favorite and most common...lol)

I think this is an appropriate quote for today: "If I wanted to torture myself for a long period of time I would be in an exclusive relationship". -Tosh.0

Dating, Like Shooting One's Self In The Foot

     Like shooting one's self in the foot, dating won't kill you; however, it will be excruciatingly painful and you will feel an insurmountable amount of stupidity (and perhaps a good amount of nausea). Those bullshit dating advice articles, you know, the ones that tell you to be yourself and all that crap, they never tell you this. They never set you up for failure. But failure is eminent and glaringly consistent in the dating world. Those articles should be blunt. They should cut the crap and shoot it straight. They should just tell us that 75% of the men we meet will be completely intolerable from the start. 15% will be intolerable after a few weeks. 5% will be intolerable after a few months. 4% you may actually begin a serious relationship with and/or fall in love with, but these men, too, will eventually become intolerable. After that there is the .5%, those are the ones that you think you are going to marry (or do marry), you devote your life to, and then it doesn't work out (us ladies lose some good years to these kind of guys). And then, there is the holy grail, the other .5%, the one. So even if you make it through the mass of intolerable men there is still a 50/50 shot it won't work (or that it will work, for you more optimistic types). Thus, the only sane and logical thing to do is to get a dog. A big dog. One that will scare off intolerable men.