Dating, Like Shooting One's Self In The Foot

     Like shooting one's self in the foot, dating won't kill you; however, it will be excruciatingly painful and you will feel an insurmountable amount of stupidity (and perhaps a good amount of nausea). Those bullshit dating advice articles, you know, the ones that tell you to be yourself and all that crap, they never tell you this. They never set you up for failure. But failure is eminent and glaringly consistent in the dating world. Those articles should be blunt. They should cut the crap and shoot it straight. They should just tell us that 75% of the men we meet will be completely intolerable from the start. 15% will be intolerable after a few weeks. 5% will be intolerable after a few months. 4% you may actually begin a serious relationship with and/or fall in love with, but these men, too, will eventually become intolerable. After that there is the .5%, those are the ones that you think you are going to marry (or do marry), you devote your life to, and then it doesn't work out (us ladies lose some good years to these kind of guys). And then, there is the holy grail, the other .5%, the one. So even if you make it through the mass of intolerable men there is still a 50/50 shot it won't work (or that it will work, for you more optimistic types). Thus, the only sane and logical thing to do is to get a dog. A big dog. One that will scare off intolerable men.